I wanted to turn the ones of you who don’t know about my freelancing blog, Freelancing Journey, onto it. (Oh, and yes, I HAVE been writing, but it ended up being more poetry and not a short story, hey, we do what we can with what we have.)

Anyway, check out my freelancing blog, where you will find lots of tips, advice and links to helpful sites for writers.

Alrighty then! It is a marvelous October morning and I am feeling fine! Everything that has been happening lately I have decided is a sign, or signs, that it’s time for me to get back to writing creatively. I am starting a short story today, I don’t even know what it’s about yet, all I know is that as soon as I get back from the grocery store I am NOT going to plop down on the couch with a book and watch TV. I am going to come up with a story line for a short story and just start writing. I have tons of ideas so that won’t be a problem.

I have all weekend, my work is caught up, I have no one to be responsible for but myself and my little dog. So it is time. Time to get back to what used to make me happier than anything else and that is writing. I WILL NOT concern myself with where I am going to get this story published or if it’s good enough, blah, blah, blah. THAT is what has had me frozen for the last year. I made the mistake after finishing my first novel of learning TOO much about publishing and listening to negative people talk about how the odds were against the writers, and if you didn’t know somebody you couldn’t get your foot in the door, and on, and on. I bought into it and became filled with doubt. BUT NO MORE! I am a GOOD writer and it is upward and onward!

I am very excited. And relieved. God knows I need something going on in my life that I feel excited about again. Writing did it once, when I was writing Maddy I couldn’t have cared less if the sky fell, I was happy. My hope is that writing will give me that feeling again.

Wish me luck and I’ll keep you posted as I go.

I had some conflicting feelings about writing for Associated Content so I opened up the floor on my blog, Freelancing Journey, today and got some really great and diverse input. Here is the link to the article and the discussion. Please feel free to voice your own opinion about Associated Content.

Something is happening to me, something good. I have had a really hard time since my son died two years ago and my husband left this past November. I have been depressed, drinking too much, despairing, feeling often hopeless, losing myself in my work, one of the things that has kept me sane. BUT, there is something else much more important that has kept my head above water, kept me here, in the land of the living and that something is God’s love, grace and mercy.

I have done a lot of praying over these last few years, during all of these hard times. But about a month ago, one night when I was at the end of my rope, I said a prayer of supplication, begging God to take my life and do something with it, knowing that without him I was nothing, my life meaningless. And do you know what? He is answering me, changing me. I realize that this is a process, but I feel so much different with each passing day. I have made the decision to stop drinking, for one thing. No more bars for me. And I am going to join the church down the street this Sunday. God has been there for me so many times that it’s about time I went to work for him. I want to use my experiences to help others who are despairing, to make a difference in the world. I want to be my own hero.

One problem I have always had is that I have viewed Christians as goody two shoes. I thought drinking and partying people were the cool ones. I was wrong. Being a good person and doing the right thing is what is cool. Loving your fellow human being and taking care of yourself is cool.

I also thought that if I weren’t perfect I couldn’t fit in in a church. But I have come to the realization that if there were only perfect people in the churches they would be empty.

So, here I go on a brand new journey. Thank God!

Man oh man am I ever glad that this summer is drawing to a close. I don’t think I have ever been so happy to see September. I have had a very relaxing Labor Day Weekend, went out yesterday to a party but only stayed a few hours. I got to ride home on a brand new Harley.Whoo hoo! It was nice, very nice.

Thinks are going great on both the professional and the personal side. I am enjoying living alone, more than I ever have. I have lived alone before but I didn’t embrace it like I am this time. I have a dog that is the best little girl in the world, she is my shadow. She even watches me take a bath, (could she be a lesbian?) :)
I am dating some, but I am far from getting in a hurry to get serious. I may never give my heart away again. Someone may give me theirs and I will be careful with it but I believe mine has taken all the breaking it can, for a very long time anyway. Never say never.

I have gotten into a rhythm of blogging early in the mornings and I am usually done by around noon, sometimes 1 or 2 pm. I feel very lucky to have this stress free life, to be healthy and good looking (! lol) and to have such a great son, daughter in law and grandkids as I do. I am truly blessed.

I cannot believe that I haven’t posted to this blog in almost two months! What the hell is wrong with me?

Ok, let’s see. I’ll start with the fact that I am working, working, working. Add to that the fact that I might actually be ADD or bipolar or several other of those $10 words, or what I would rather call “psychobabble.” Ain’t we all a little touched? Writers anyway!

Aaanyway…as Ellen says, I have been busy with both my professional and personal life. Too busy as I see today, Sunday, August 12th, 2007. I need to chill, dudes and dudettes. I need to remind myself that my bestest friend is me–I have been reading a book called “Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Care for Yourself” and I have to tell you that I am on my third reading and this book is changing my life. I see myself EVERYWHERE in this book. It is liberating to finally get a handle on what the hell I have been doing all these years. Jeez I’m tired. It’s hard playing God. I suggest, if you have never tried, not to start now. It DOESN’T WORK!

Otherwise, things are great. I am making decent money and my new granddaughter, Edy Mae Dowd, was born on August 10th. So, you know, life is really good.

I decided this morning that I felt like visiting some different writer’s blogs and I was wondering where to find a good list of those. Then it hit me. I have a great list of writer’s blogs right here on my own personal blog. Talk about a doh! moment.

Nothing much new going on with me, though I did win $100 from PayU2Blog yesterday and that was very COOL! I have been working hard on trying to get my freelancing blog to move up the Google Page Rank ladder by the next update and blogging everyday on that blog and my other three. I have just about decided to look for an ebook publisher for Maddy. I want the damn book to be read but I don’t even want to bother going to the post office anymore. Pitiful huh? Oh well, dreams die, plans change, life goes on. Maybe there are other creative writing endeavors for me somewhere in the future. We’ll see. As for now I am just happy to be making a living on my own and beginning to enjoy this single life.

I can’t believe it’s been a month since I posted here last! But here I am, and I want to wish all of you, especially our soldiers who have served or are serving our country, a Happy Memorial Day. My thoughts turn to my son today, who was in the Air Force for 6 years. However, I am not going to get down and out thinking about him.  I love him always and miss him too, but he is in my heart and no longer in pain, so I can’t see how it makes any sense for me to live a life of grief and pain. In fact, I am getting ready to meet a new friend for lunch. She has invited me to her and her friends’ traditional “My man done done me wrong Mexican food and $1.00 margaritas lunch!” I should fit right in. :)

So yes, things on the social and personal front are going well, and also on the professional front. I told my youngest son when he called the other day and asked how I was that the only problem I could think of that I had was that I accidentally bought 2% milk instead of whole milk. He cracked up. That pretty much puts things into perspective. Though I am having to get used to living alone again, I don’t have a trouble one and consider myself fortunate.

Again, I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. I know I will be!

I thought it was time for an update to this blog. Monday was my birthday, but Tuesday is when I really got my birthday present. I won a $1000 in Payperpost’s April give away! I was so damned nervous typing the post it took to take the opportunity that my hands were shaking so badly I could barely type. But I got ‘er done!

I have been busy blogging and still haven’t sent off Maddy or any other of my creative writing yet. I can’t seem to get excited about it. I am hoping that feeling will come back someday soon. There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day and I don’t feel like working seven days a week. However, now that the money situation is stable, maybe that old burning desire will return. I hope so.

But I have been also preoccupied with an online dating site. I have a date tonight, in fact, and I have a good feeling about it. I haven’t met him yet, though, so we will see.

On the writing front one great thing that happened is that I signed a contract today and wrote my first article for a site called The Go-To Girls. It’s going to be a blast, talking about dating, sex and relationships, three subjects I am intimately familiar with.

I am feeling so good these days! I am moving into my own apartment in 2 weeks. I am making good money blogging, and this weekend, I have finally decided that it is time to start submitting my creative work again, and to start writing creatively again too, and now that the 6 months have passed that were required by the publishers I sent Maddy to without any word, it’s time to start sending her out again.

I haven’t missed any of this until lately. Maybe it is because I have at last started coming out of the deep, dark tunnel of depression I have been in since my son died two years ago. I feel lighter, I am smiling without having to remind myself to, my teeth and head have stopped hurting from stress, and I actually feel like I am starting a brand new life.